I am proud to be a working Mama

I had a very challenging week this past week that ended up with me firing two students. I am tired of thinking about the details, but both girls were asked to leave my studio basically because of their mothers' actions. The second incident was not just a professional attack on me but quite a personal attack: she didn't agree with how I run my home studio, I do not know what is best for my daughter, I take advantage of my students' families, no lesson with Satya in it is worth as much as one without her in it.
If you can imagine, these hurtful words came from a woman that I actually respected and admired for her mothering. One who had generously spent many hours babysitting Satya (of course I paid her) and had generously given her many toys and educational tools to play with. She had generously given me lots of wonderful mama advice and books to read.
One hand gives generously while the other slaps you in the face.
For quite a long time, I always envied these women because they are SAHMs. This weekend, I embraced the fact that I am half a working mama and half a WAHM. I am not making any judgements on any other mother's choices, just thinking clearly about my own. As a working/WAHM, I am offering Satya a full version of myself, one that shows her that I have a life of my own, my own dreams and goals. All that are inspired by her, of course, but they are mine. I am not living my life through her. If I didn't live my own life, I wouldn't be able to enrich hers like it should be. This was a big moment for me, coming to terms with this. And I am happier for it.
I hope even just a little of this post makes sense, but it's basically just me putting my thoughts down somewhere, so I can always remember who I am.
Happy Mother's Day to all mamas: SAHMs, WAHMs, full time working mamas. We all work hard to be the best mamas we can be, so let's live harmoniously, without comparing or judging each other's choices.

Comments

[Nachaele Olson]

I am so glad you have decided to stay true to your dreams! I have seen so many Moms live life through their children, then children grow up and the parent doesn't even know who they are anymore. The mom that I know, personally, lived her life through her last child so much that he is now 24 years old and she meddles in his relationship, talks to his girlfriend to see if things are going good with them, talks to him (out of state) every day, sends him money, etc, etc........she has no hobbies, loves and not many friends. So.....I am proud of you and I know that Satya will be so proud of her mother, when she is old enough to have that feeling!

[pixie]

good for you, don't let other people tear you down. Being a strong women is one of the many things Satya will love about you.

[Mia]

Good for you, Allegra! You are such a strong and inspiring person. Satya is a lucky girl to have a mommy like you!

[jessica~]

Wow. That is very sad but it also seems like you are strong enough to stand up for yourself and defend your home & studio. Satya is luck, she has a grea mum!!

[jackie]

hear hear! mothers need to work harder to support one another no matter what kind of life each chooses to live. is it not more important to surround children with love ane security than to make that happen in some set or particular way. this has been hard for me too--it was hard to leave my baby in someone else's care to go back to work, but the fact that i did means we get to live in a great house in an awesome neighborhood and have good health insurance. and his daytime caregiver loves him too, so he has even more people who love him. i have gotten some attitude from some SAHM's about this, and it just makes me sad. i am happy for them that they get to live that life, but i don't like being made to feel like i am failing as a mother because i am not doing the same. yay for ALL mothers who support and love their children!!!

[Veelana]

It really is time that all moms accept that its a personal choice and we stop giving eachother a bad time about this! Thank you - and keep doin' whatcha doin' 'cause you're doin' it right!
(found you over the bamboletta blog comment section:-))